Wonderfully described definitions

Some nice definitions..................


CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!




MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master





LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either






CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present







COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece






TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!







DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage






CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on







ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before







CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read





OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life






YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth






ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do






COMMITTEE:
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together






EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes







ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions






PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead







DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip







OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river






OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"






PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY






MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!






FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature









CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught







BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early







k
POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later







DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!