THE TALENTED CHILDREN

For any new 'widows' out there please note #2 in...

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
2. Learn to forgive because there will be many, even your closest friends, who will behave badly. People will say things that hurt your feelings. They will judge you. As a widow, you don't need the baggage. It gets far too heavy to carry. You have to let go or it could drown you.

My oldest just struggled. He was in the fourth grade when his father passed. In the fifth grade we moved to a new school as a result of my selling our home. For the other two children, there were many things about this school that were better for them. But, the oldest brought out all the bad in this school district.

By the end of fifth grade, he had many "F's" as a result of his 'checking out'. I felt that he needed to be fed. He needed a boost to his spirits. His F's were not a result of mental know how - they were emotionally based. We could not expect his grades to rise simply by imposing additional consequences on him. We needed to lift him out of the hole he was sitting in.

That spring the college was putting on a production of The Wizard of Oz. I had inquired if they might need some young talent, but was informed it was already being taken care of. I discovered many of the children in my son's school were participating in the play. About a month before the production I was contacted by the director. They needed another child - so Christopher was invited to audition. He was awarded the role of a 'flying combat monkey' and a 'munchkin'. The director asked that he join the practices with the other 'munchkins' on Friday mornings before school. The practice was held at the school and ended 10 minutes after school began.

I informed Christopher's teacher and principal that he would be participating, therefore he would be a few minutes late on Friday morning. They let me know his grades were not such that they felt this was wise. I let them know 10 minutes on a Friday morning would not make the difference between "F's" and "A's". In response, I was curtly told that ONLY THE TALENTED CHILDREN were allowed to participate in this production, and HE WAS NOT AMONG THE TALENTED CHILDREN. yeah. those are fighting words.

This is one battle I won! :) And, If I do say so myself, I have never seen such an adorable flying monkey beating the lion up!!

THE TALENTED CHILDREN

For any new 'widows' out there please note #2 in...

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
2. Learn to forgive because there will be many, even your closest friends, who will behave badly. People will say things that hurt your feelings. They will judge you. As a widow, you don't need the baggage. It gets far too heavy to carry. You have to let go or it could drown you.

My oldest just struggled. He was in the fourth grade when his father passed. In the fifth grade we moved to a new school as a result of my selling our home. For the other two children, there were many things about this school that were better for them. But, the oldest brought out all the bad in this school district.

By the end of fifth grade, he had many "F's" as a result of his 'checking out'. I felt that he needed to be fed. He needed a boost to his spirits. His F's were not a result of mental know how - they were emotionally based. We could not expect his grades to rise simply by imposing additional consequences on him. We needed to lift him out of the hole he was sitting in.

That spring the college was putting on a production of The Wizard of Oz. I had inquired if they might need some young talent, but was informed it was already being taken care of. I discovered many of the children in my son's school were participating in the play. About a month before the production I was contacted by the director. They needed another child - so Christopher was invited to audition. He was awarded the role of a 'flying combat monkey' and a 'munchkin'. The director asked that he join the practices with the other 'munchkins' on Friday mornings before school. The practice was held at the school and ended 10 minutes after school began.

I informed Christopher's teacher and principal that he would be participating, therefore he would be a few minutes late on Friday morning. They let me know his grades were not such that they felt this was wise. I let them know 10 minutes on a Friday morning would not make the difference between "F's" and "A's". In response, I was curtly told that ONLY THE TALENTED CHILDREN were allowed to participate in this production, and HE WAS NOT AMONG THE TALENTED CHILDREN. yeah. those are fighting words.

This is one battle I won! :) And, If I do say so myself, I have never seen such an adorable flying monkey beating the lion up!!

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CLUE

This post is not intended for those with a weak stomach...

I have met some strong and independent women in my life that I am certain would make better widows than I do. I suppose that could be part of the reason this lot was given to me... I had a lot to learn from it.

My first clue that surviving widowhood would not come easy to me should have have been when my husband was in the hospital. I struggled making it three weeks. The day before my husband went in for surgery I decided to clean out the fridge. I knew I would not be home cooking very much for the next couple weeks - so it seemed to make sense to me to throw out anything that would not still be good in two weeks. Among the things I threw in the garbage that day was some raw perch. My husband had caught and prepared the fish, but he was seriously lacking in appetite - so he had not eaten it. I tossed the raw fish in the garbage.

My husband and I had to be at the hospital by 6am Monday morning. We arrived and he was prepped and the surgery began shortly after. I sat in the hospital room all day. Waiting... just waiting for the doctor to come out with any updates. They were occasional and slow. But every report was positive - things were going well. There were larger and more numerous tumors than what they had anticipated, so the surgery was slow going, but they were making progress. I think it was around 4:30 or 5:30 Tuesday morning when they came out to tell me the surgery was complete. Chris was sleeping and would be for some time - so it was advised that if I wanted to go home, now would be the best time. I went into see him and spent a short while with him, just watching him sleep - then I headed home to change my clothes and get ready for the day.

I arrived home around 7:30 or 8:00 and the furthest thing from my mind was putting the garbage out on the curb. As I have shared before, that wasn't even typically one of my chores. I took a shower and returned to the hospital.

It was September, but the temperature was still warm and the weather was beautiful that week, which served to be a blessing with all the driving I was doing. Saturday evening I was home taking care of a few things and went to take the week's garbage out. It was dark, but as I lifted the lid to place my garbage inside, I noticed something was dripping off the lid. I returned to the house to turn on the outside light and get a flash light, as I could not imagine why there was something in the garbage can that would be dripping. The sight I saw, I will describe... but stop reading now unless you have a tough stomach. There were thousands of maggots... literally overspilling the sides of the garbage can and falling to the pavement. Upon moving the garbage can, I discovered a mound of maggots a couple inches thick laying on the ground. I had no idea what to do. So, I called my husband's fishing friend. I explained my situation and let him know I did not need his physical help - I just needed to know how you go about getting rid of them. I had tried bug sprays, but this did not seem to do anything. I tried pouring water on them in hopes of drowning them, this made them scatter and they started climbing the brick exterior of my home. I didn't know what else to do.

He said he would be right over. I again assured him I would handle it... I just didn't know what to do. He said he would be right over. We worked together trying to destroy the thousands of maggots. It appears 'frying' them with a blowtorch is very effective.

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
1. Realize that raw fish will quickly turn to thousands of maggots if left outside in hot weather for more than one week. If this most inconvenient situation should happen - a blowtorch would be the easiest solution for ridding your patio of maggots.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY FIRST CLUE

This post is not intended for those with a weak stomach...

I have met some strong and independent women in my life that I am certain would make better widows than I do. I suppose that could be part of the reason this lot was given to me... I had a lot to learn from it.

My first clue that surviving widowhood would not come easy to me should have have been when my husband was in the hospital. I struggled making it three weeks. The day before my husband went in for surgery I decided to clean out the fridge. I knew I would not be home cooking very much for the next couple weeks - so it seemed to make sense to me to throw out anything that would not still be good in two weeks. Among the things I threw in the garbage that day was some raw perch. My husband had caught and prepared the fish, but he was seriously lacking in appetite - so he had not eaten it. I tossed the raw fish in the garbage.

My husband and I had to be at the hospital by 6am Monday morning. We arrived and he was prepped and the surgery began shortly after. I sat in the hospital room all day. Waiting... just waiting for the doctor to come out with any updates. They were occasional and slow. But every report was positive - things were going well. There were larger and more numerous tumors than what they had anticipated, so the surgery was slow going, but they were making progress. I think it was around 4:30 or 5:30 Tuesday morning when they came out to tell me the surgery was complete. Chris was sleeping and would be for some time - so it was advised that if I wanted to go home, now would be the best time. I went into see him and spent a short while with him, just watching him sleep - then I headed home to change my clothes and get ready for the day.

I arrived home around 7:30 or 8:00 and the furthest thing from my mind was putting the garbage out on the curb. As I have shared before, that wasn't even typically one of my chores. I took a shower and returned to the hospital.

It was September, but the temperature was still warm and the weather was beautiful that week, which served to be a blessing with all the driving I was doing. Saturday evening I was home taking care of a few things and went to take the week's garbage out. It was dark, but as I lifted the lid to place my garbage inside, I noticed something was dripping off the lid. I returned to the house to turn on the outside light and get a flash light, as I could not imagine why there was something in the garbage can that would be dripping. The sight I saw, I will describe... but stop reading now unless you have a tough stomach. There were thousands of maggots... literally overspilling the sides of the garbage can and falling to the pavement. Upon moving the garbage can, I discovered a mound of maggots a couple inches thick laying on the ground. I had no idea what to do. So, I called my husband's fishing friend. I explained my situation and let him know I did not need his physical help - I just needed to know how you go about getting rid of them. I had tried bug sprays, but this did not seem to do anything. I tried pouring water on them in hopes of drowning them, this made them scatter and they started climbing the brick exterior of my home. I didn't know what else to do.

He said he would be right over. I again assured him I would handle it... I just didn't know what to do. He said he would be right over. We worked together trying to destroy the thousands of maggots. It appears 'frying' them with a blowtorch is very effective.

Lesson Manual: How to Be a Widow
1. Realize that raw fish will quickly turn to thousands of maggots if left outside in hot weather for more than one week. If this most inconvenient situation should happen - a blowtorch would be the easiest solution for ridding your patio of maggots.