Me and you and Pepé Le Pew

I was reading John Irving’s The Hotel New Hampshire in the bath and laughing out loud at State ‘o Maine’s acquisition of the taste ‘o canine – well, laughing as best I could under the circumstances.

Consider the tub, or a water trough that tries to pass as a tub by virtue of proximity in the little room known as the bathroom – a builder issue bit of fiberglass nonsense that generally has one prone with feet, tibias, fibias, femurs and an organization of other anatomical parts in an amalgam known as legs exposed as one seeks immersion of torso, an immersion that is never fully realized. The trough has a back that is near vertical and places one’s chin an inch from the top of the sternum while wheezing through a windpipe that feels kinked like a cranky, cold hose – all for the search of a bit ‘o warmth from the waters. This also leaves an expanse of flesh approximately 10” wide and 18” long from chin to just below the navel that needs the occasional hand generated wave in order to feel connected to the activity known as bath … little solace for the legs though.

I was laughing until the tears flowed and I could no longer read the words, I grabbed the wine glass from its tenuous perch on the soap dish handle and closed my eyes, visualizing the busted motorcycle being towed/escorted out of Falmouth with State ‘o Maine in the side car.

“Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkk.”

I knew the “umpff” was coming and kept my eyes closed to keep the surprise alive as 12 pounds of Izzy lands on the micro acreage that was residing above the waterline.

“Umpff!”

“Purrrrrrrrrrrrr………..”

There were 10 little needles intent on performing catupunture and drawing the milk of Vlad Ţepeş, portending a clipping in Izzy’s very near future. Remember, this is a 12 pound fur-ball that is trying to worm her way into some semblance of comfort that is involving my chest residing above the water line – all the while purring with abandon and feeling like she’d finally found “the spot” that her adopted sisters cannot, in any way, intrude. So much for the peaceful bath!

I started thinking, as she finally settled in (tail to the left or tail to the right of my face – wet tail? – don’t care – ohhh! Let’s slip a paw into the water as well! No matter that I’ll shake it all over the pages of the book!), of the remarkable day/evening it had been critter wise.

The first was wondering what the fresh turned earth was out by the green house. I finished my early morning ministrations regarding the animal’s gratuitous feed and very necessary water. Grabbing a cup of (very necessary) coffee I went to investigate the oddness by the green house. “Aliens” was the first thought and “crop circles” was the immediate next. I stood gaping at a trench 6 inches deep and 15 feet long. There was another similar disturbance past the big cactus, though not as long. It finally dawned on me that it was probably Redford. I’d recently read that a sounder could uproot a field or a yard in a night if they were finding some tasty morsel just below the surface – grubs, tubers or whatever. If I could only direct his efforts I wishfully thought. Who knew there was that much dirt in this property that seems to just grow rocks!

Second was a flock of nearly 20 goldfinches that’d finally discovered the much neglected finch feeder. This was the first time for gold finches in this yard. They were still in their winter plumage. I hope to see them all in their summer garb. There is also a pair of gold fronted woodpeckers and a pair of ladder-backs that have found our place amenable as well.

Third was an appearance by Pepé Le Pew. Like Redford, he’s not exactly a welcome guest; although this skunk is a regular enough visitor to have earned a name. Pepé was foraging around the back deck and Zoë was on the deck watching with, much to my horror, great curiosity – that cat curiosity that could land her in BIG, stinky trouble. Meanwhile the vulpine herd was milling about and looking expectantly for their dinner, Rocky was being a naughty raccoon and shaking seed from the bird feeder and Tiny Tim was hobbling around the little piles of corn that I’d just put out.

I waited until Pepé was out if sight before I opened the door to toss the bread to the fox. I stepped out onto the deck and realized too late that the stripped stink reservoir was just behind the rose bush to the right of the door. I froze in mid-step and in my paralysis I could only think that I would not want to see the underside of Pepé’s tail. Fortunately he ambled off, seemingly unconcerned with my presence. Even Tiny Tim seemed to accept my presence and offerings to the now squabbling vulpines.

Since all the fox don’t show up at the same time the yeasty Frisbee toss happens several times over the course of an evening. It was closing time at the Vulpine Café and I threw out a few extra pieces for the malingerers. I noticed an eye shine that was a little different in the understory – redder than the normal gold of the fox and green of the cats and raccoons. This was something new; although the eye shine was somewhat familiar it belonged to something I’d not seen before. I went back in and stood by the window hoping that this newcomer would come out. It did finally appear and at first I thought it was the tiniest fox I’d ever seen – it was not time for kits yet! It was moving with a hopping, sepentine motion that reminded me of a mink or a ferret. I wanted a better view and reluctantly turned on the flashlight, hoping I wouldn’t scare it off. It gathered up a piece of bread and when it turned I saw the stripped plume of a tail and I knew then that I was watching a ring tailed cat. “B” had just gone to bed when I shouted for her to come see! It came back for another piece just as she came in and she too was witness to our new critter. It seems very shy, but didn’t bolt under the torch light.

I’d seen the red/gold eye shine before, but thought it was just some trick of the light on the fox eyes. I’ve heard mention of the ring tails being in the area, but most folks have never seen one. I’m feeling truly blessed that it has graced us with its presence. Follow this link to see this cuter-than cute fellow!

All in all, it was a very remarkable critter day.

Izzy finally decided that she was wet enough and sauntered off to another room, probably to terrorize one of her unsuspecting sisters. I sighed and tried to sink even farther into the fiberglass.