QUESTIONS WITHOUT ANSWERS

At what point do people grow weary of me talking about Chris? At what point has everyone else moved on, and they really don't want to hear it any more? At what point do I just need to keep it to myself because otherwise I appear to be a widow who just can't move on?

Is it five years? What about ten? When it has been ten years my oldest will hopefully be heading on a mission. His dad should be there to send him off with me. What about fifteen? That may be the year that our daughter gets married. Twenty? I could be welcoming my first grandchild.

The IRS doesn't want to hear about it after three years. Last year was the first year I could no longer be considered a "widow" when I filed my taxes. Now I am "head of househould". So, if they are sick of it... is everyone else sick of it too?

My sisters send me flowers every year on the anniversary of his death. This year, I wondered if they would... at some point they will have to stop... won't they? They sent a beautiful arrangement. I was glad.

What's the perfect balance between remembering my husband as I move forward and not living in the past?

Just questions today... no answers... just questions...