sick & tired of him being "sick" and me being tired

Today I feel like enough is enough. He's been to enough doctors enough times.
He's been poked, proded, and tested too many times. I'm tired.
Is he really "sick"? Is there something really wrong?
I realize he has a hard time swallowing things and that he still throws up.
But the major things have been tested for, right?.
Can't we just continue with the occupational therapy to strengthen his arm and work on feeding
and forget about the rest?
Forget about Shriners every other week for weigh in's? He's only actually lost weight once.
Forget about the pediatician there who is very nice by the way but wasn't doing the testing we needed anyway?
Forget about the dietian that seems to think that taking him off of formula and switching to D milk is a good idea right now? He won't even swallow regular food and the formula has the most complete nutrition.
I'm trying, I am. I try EVERYDAY to give him solid foods. We are progressing at our own rate.
It's slow but we are progressing.
Dear dietian, Please don't be too pushy. Mother's instinct is way better than anything  that can be learned.at any school..

Readers: Don't get me wrong the kid loves mashed potatos and a few other things but anything that's much more solid than that he has a hard time swallowing and mostly just spits out.
I see the emotional effects it all has on him.
It's been about a year now. Pretty much his entire life.
I will be glad to see the reflexologist when we get to Texas.
They did weigh him yesterday. 17 pounds 1 ounce. Not a lot of gain but it's in the right direction.

Well, I found my camera (well, Heath found it in my coat pocket - I'm still not sure what he was doing wearing it but I have my camera back)
ONLY I have lost my wallet.
I tore up the house yesterday looking for it. I hope it's not lost, lost and that it's just misplaced.
Speaking of Lost. I hate that show. Heath borrowed it and I watched an episode and it sucked me right in.
As I watched another episode I kept saying "I'm not watching this anymore" then I watch the next.
In all I've seen about 6 episodes of season 1 and about 7 episodes of season 4.
Heath had to fill me in on the inbetween.
Now that I finished season 4 I'm done.
I don't mind if someone tells me what happens but I'm done watching.
It's also a little too scary for me. I don't do scary.

Noah is so excited to go on the plane and go to Texas. Although I think he will have a little bit of a hard time being away from his daddy. He's been saying a lot lately, "I want daddy."
My reply to him is, "me too, buddy."
Heath has been so busy lately we haven't seen much of him. We did get a good day with him last Saturday.

Sometimes Noah sings songs. I can't understand the words some of the time but when he stops I ask him If he'll keep going. He does and I get to smile for a little longer. .

Noah loves dogs.
Asher is terrified.
Noah doesn't like to sit still much and likes to touch everything.
Asher is curious but it a very calm baby.
They are different but equally loved

Asher has 4 teeth now. One on top, three on the bottom. He will have the front teeth spread like Noah has.
Good thing it's stinkin' cute. Well, I think it is anyway.

I played a game or two of knock out (basketball game) with the YM and YW last night.
I won a game. Was glad to see I still have a little bit in me. An athlete that is.

It's true that I gave my first talk at church when I was 3. I memorized it and 27 years later I can still recall some of it. Also true that I'm at Heidi's house doing laundry right now. She probably doesn't know that. Thanks Heidi! (and deric, too) Wait, Heidi just got home for lunch. She knows now.

Also, don't take off points for spelling. I couldn't figure out spell check on this computer.

The weigh in and a little birthday party

Asher weighed in at 16 pounds 8 ounces, a weight gain!
He saw the gastroenterologist on Wednesday.
After a million questions and a physical examination, she said that his tonsils looked enlarged.
She said this could be causing all the gagging and the not being able to swallow more solid foods.
She referred us to an ear, nose, and throat doctor.
(Doctors, please get in line to see my baby boy and wait your turn.)
She also had him get some more blood work done to check something to do with celiacs disease.
If this comes back positive then they will have to do some extensive testing.
She also gave him a prescription for an anti-acid medication.
I think in hopes that it would help with the vomiting.

Well, this little guy will be 1 year old on Tuesday. We did a little birthday celebrating yesterday.

Here are the pics.

Not so fond of the birthday hat.

Whose cute chicken legs are these?

 

He didn't actually eat any of the cupcake. He did taste a little frosting.

 

 

Just for fun.

 

 The birthday chair.

This is Noah's first birthday in the birthday chair. Just to compare.

"Sisters, now more than ever, we need women to step up and be strong. We need women who declare the truth with strength, faith, and boldness. We need women to set an example of righteousness. We need women to be 'anxiously engaged in a good cause' (D&C 58:27). We need to live so that our lives bear witness that we love our Heavenly Father and the Savior Jesus Christ and that we will do what They have asked us to do. We need to rescue 'all that is finest down deep inside of [us]' so that as daughters of God we can do our part to build the kingdom of God. We will have help to do this. As Joseph declared, 'If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restained from being your associates.'"

-Barbara Thompson, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency

Some Asher info, pottery shows and Utah

Asher had his first haircut today.
He also had a doctors appointment today. No weight gain.
He had to have blood taken. We are starting all the testing Dr. Marsden suggested.
The test for cystic fibrosis is on the 12th. He will have a swallow study done soon
and will have a trip to the gastroenterologist in Pittsburgh on 20th to check for celiacs disease among other things.
Utah was good but sometimes a little stressful with the boys being sick. 
Heath got into another pottery show. The 4th International small teapot show in Mission Viejo, CA.
More to come on that.

We opened presents before we left for Utah.

He got a train. Can you tell by the smile on his face?

The Stocking.

The mess and cute Asher.

The boys on the plane to Utah.

Noah got a Thomas the Train "shaving" (soap) kit for Christmas from Grandma and Grandpa Papa. 

So cute.

He even makes the funny faces.

Lorie made an awesome chocolate cake for the Christmas party. Yummy! Don't ask what's in it, just eat it.

Noah went to Jumpin' Jax (I don't know if that's how you spell it but that's how I would spell it if I owned the place). It's a big warehouse type place with lots of bouncy houses. Liz works there so we got to go FOR FREE. Thanks Liz.

More jumpin'.

Noah getting ready for an intense game of twister with Grandpa and Lucas.

Yes, I said intense. It's kind of a hard game for kids that don't know their colors. :)

Cute Asher.

Noah learning a little guitar from Aunt Liz.

The jam session.

.

The weigh in, Santa Claus, and admiration

Asher went to Shriner's today.  He weighed in at 15 pounds 12 ounces which is a gain from the weight loss last visit. There was happiness but no celebration.

We had our ward Christmas party last Friday and guess who was there?  Yep, Santa Claus. I wasn't sure how Noah would respond to him this year. We've been watching The Polar Express and Elf some so he gets the idea of Santa. When the news was that Santa was coming down the hall Noah's face lite up. When he came in the room Noah turned to me and said, "Mommy, look!" We went up front and waited our turn in line to talk to Santa. Noah kept saying, "My turn?, My turn?". We finally got to Santa and Noah was so shy. He didn't sit in his lap but I told him to say hi and he did. I told him to tell Santa that he wanted a choo choo and he did. Then I told him to hug Santa and he did. All too cute.

This is the only shot I got because my camera is a little more than a few years old and it takes a while in between taking pictures.

Asher, however, not so fond of Santa.

I was thinking about how I admire people who are true to who they are under difficult circumstances. Like people that don't fuel the fire of gossip or people that are not so quick to judge others. Here, let me explain or better yet let me give you an example. Just know that I have repented. :)

A few months ago Heath and I were driving down the main road in a near by town. I noticed a yard that wasn't so nice looking. Toys were everywhere, maybe a little trash, and some things that could certainly use some straightening. I commented and said,"Why would someone living on this main road keep their yard so messy?" I didn't expect what came next. Heath looked at me then answered something like this, "Maybe a single mother that works two jobs lives in that home. Maybe she is using the time she does have to spend with her children instead of picking up her yard." Nothing like that had even crossed my mind. What if? My heart softened and my judgmental attitude quickly turned to prayer. A prayer to repent and a prayer for whoever lived in that home. If it was true or not true, it didn't matter. I prayed for whoever was in that home. Heath is a good example to me. 

It's true that I saw a real sugar plum the other day. I didn't even know they were real. Also true that the new Charlie and The Chocolate Factory is Noah's favorite movie right now. And true that Charlie Bucket is really wise beyond his years.  Some more truth is that I wish  that the room where everything is eatable (including the grass) really existed and that I could go in it. I'm thinking I might tend to be a little on the Augustus Gloop side of things.  Don't judge me! :)

Some of Life

I can't believe how fast December is flying.
it's going to be Christmas before I know it.
It snowed yesterday.
when I looked out the window I couldn't help but think it looked like a Christmas card
The week before last Asher was sick with a cold
almost every time he coughed he would gag and throw up
I felt like he was throwing up every feeding
i would say a prayer each time hoping that he would keep it down
last Wednesday's appointment at Shriner's showed the effects.  he lost weight. stink and a few tears!
on top of that, last week he wouldn't eat.
He would cry at the very sight of a bottle.
i found myself trying to force feed him which only worked some of the time.
this is very hard on a mother.
I finally called the doctor on Friday.
She said to take the polycose out of his bottle (used to increase calories) and try a cup
I did
things have slowly gotten better
Sunday he started eating better
yesterday he ate more then he has ever eaten in his life (volume)
he's eating solids with more ease and less gagging
He hasn't thrown up in about a week (which is the best it's been since his birth, i think)
Things are really looking up.
I learned something at last Relief Society session of conference.
we were encouraged to pray to be equal to the task and not always to ask for our burdens to be lightened
that's what i got out of it anyway
I admit at times I really want to ask for my burdens to be lightened, really, really
and maybe sometimes I do
but there is something to be said of asking to be strengthen that you might be able to endure
I love when Noah says mom or mommy. His speech delay still makes this new and precious for me.
This morning he said "I luf you" without me saying it first.
my heart was happy.
He and Asher played a little today
both were laughing and again my heart was happy.

Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee,
Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.
Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee,
Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.
- Be Thou Humble - pg. 130  of the LDS Hymnal

Move over Wonka!

If you are ever in Northwest PA you'll want to stop at a small chocolate factory called Finney's Chocolate Shoppe. (click here to see their website)




It's near my house. It's Located on the side of a home in Cambridge Springs, PA. 24688 Highway 99 to be exact. I always pass their sign and talk about going in and well, today I did.

If you go you'll probably be pleasantly greeted by Bill.  He'll let you try one piece of any chocolate you choose. I chose a piece with peanut butter, caramel, and pretzel. Yummy! Heath stayed in the car with Asher but Bill said he could have a chocolate too, so I picked some sort of cheesecake chocolate (I can't remember the name). Heath really liked it, said it had the crust and all in there.When we left we were told to have a sweet day. A great little shop really!





Bill also HAND paints and air brushes Ganache. They come in hazelnut coffee, chocolate raspberry, coconut, orange, maple syrup, and honey shots (filled with real honey).



We also got a chocolate covered graham cracker called "Mammo-Graham". Part of the proceeds are donated to The NightLight Ministries for Women. This was Asher's favorite.

It's true that normally I would not give my 10 month old chocolate but he was actually putting it in his mouth (which is good) and he liked it. He had an appointment today at Shriner's and gained 11 ounces (YIPPEE!) in one week. He's 15 pounds 11 ounces as of today.